Tonight there was a dessert social in the lobby of my building.

They served chocolate layer cake, apple pie, carrot cake, oatmeal cookies, chocolate chip cookies, cinnamon buns, cheesecake and more. Oh and they had fruit salad.

It’s sort of funny because I was not interested in the sugary beverages. I had no desire to drink a can of diet Coke, Pepsi, or fruit drink. Gwenn had a cookie and some fruit salad. She offered me some fruit but I refused. In fact I could care less about it because it wasn’t what I was after.
I wanted something sweeter and stronger. I wanted more than just one bite. I wanted to lose myself in something chocolatly and rich. I really wanted a cookie and some cake. I wanted to binge on it. Why?
Stress. I’m a little stressed out right now. That’s it. I’m stressed and so I want to focus my stress. What makes me want to turn the tension in my body onto itself? Bingeing is like pointing a gun at yourself to relieve your own fear. Doing so doesn’t make the problem go away, it simply changes your focus for a limited amount of time.

The desire to binge feels like contained energy that needs to be let out. From now on I’m going to try to accomplish something whenever I want to eat sweets. It can be something simple like taking out the trash or writing a blog post like this one. It doesn’t matter. There. This blog post is done and so is the dessert social. I made it.
Excellent post! Younare so right about eating sweets-carbs to relieve stress is like pointing a gun at yourself. I’ve struggles for most of my adult life with sugar-carb cravings. I was really good 2/3 of the time, but then would have these 2-3 days binges that just got worse over time. I’ve been searching for a blog like this. So many take the just-eat-fruit-or-whole-grains all of which are sugat to me now. Thanks for yhe blog. i will be reading your past entries to see ow you managed. I finally made the decision to stay away from any and all sugars for I know I will never feel free and happy if I don’t.
DavidVanadia
May 13, 2011
Hi Digby. I still eat fruit. What do you eat if you avoid it?
Digby
May 13, 2011
I only eat only berries, very rarley something made with apple, and low starch veg; it takes very little carb to trigger binges. It’s been hard for me to accept that I can’t have just a little without getting sucked into a binge.
DavidVanadia
May 13, 2011
That stinks that fruit does that to you.
Digby
May 13, 2011
I believe ther is a continuum in most things and that bell curve plays out predictably. I have family members who will never be affected by carbs, and a few like me who are seriously addicted to them, with most somewhere in between. What really made me finally accept that I was dealing with something beyond will-power was that I was very successful in every other aspect of my life, had plenty of will power, except for this one thing, sugar, which really got a lot worse about ten years ago as my work stress increased, but my sleep was halved; a recipe for sugar cravings.
(Sorry about the typos; I’m still learning to type on this ipad.)
Mel
May 18, 2011
This is a great post—especially the insight about stress still existing even after you dive into a dessert…or like Digby mentioned, a whole binge of sweets. I have the same problem, and have found that for now, I need to stay away from fruit until my body repairs from the damaged I’ve done to it through sweets and carbs. I look forward to reading many more entries. Thanks, David.
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I realized I had a sugar problem back in 2003 after a weekend-long binge on raw chocolate chip cookie dough and chocolate covered pretzels. As a result, I began trying to quit sugar but kept failing. Finally, I figured out a way to stay off sweet junk food for good.
Don’t quit sugar. Stop Being Sweet instead! Questions? Please ask!
Digby
May 13, 2011