Sugar and OCD: An Interview with Bill Brenner

In his time as an out-of-control food addict, Bill Brenner would starve himself during the week and binge Thursday through Sunday. He looked forward to Thursdays because he could engage in a weekly ritual that involved the Ground Round and a huge plate of nachos.

I found Bill’s blog, The OCD Diaries, while searching for information linking Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with sugar and addictive behaviors. His site is courageously open, inspiring, and enlightening. He’s written about his relationship with flour and sugar, described how his friends react, and says that he talks about OCD online because it might help someone else.

Interview with Bill Brenner:

1. When did you realize you had OCD?

I always knew my mind worked differently than those around me. I remember as a kid checking the door nob constantly and doing chants in my head over and over again. A lot of that continued into my mid 30s. In 2004 I realized I needed to do something about it and started going to a therapist. The official diagnosis came in the spring of 2006.

2. How/when did you discover that you had an addiction to sugar and flour?

Like the OCD, I always knew there was something off about my eating habits. As I reached my 20s, it became obvious to be that I couldn’t get through a day without binging on those two ingredients. I only gained the upper hand once I embraced the 12 Steps and started going to Overeaters Anonymous meetings. I got a sponsor and eliminated flour and sugar. I also put just about everything I eat on a little scale.

3. How does sugar and flour effect your OCD and vice versa?

The OCD is the main problem. It triggers my addictive behavior and the flour and sugar is what I would lunge for. It could have just as easily been pills, booze or drugs, but I think it was food because as a kid with Crohn’s Disease, I had severe dietary restrictions that corrupted my approach to food early on. Of course, I had my fair share of booze and prescription pills, but flour and sugar together was my cocaine.

4. What did you do to overcome your food addiction?

As I said, I started going to OA meetings. They work just like AA meetings. We use the same big book and the same 12 steps. But OA is more rigid because unlike kicking the other stuff, food will always be in front of us. We need it to survive. So we have to talk to our sponsors much more frequently and commit our daily food plans, at least in the beginning.

5. What changed after you stopped binge eating?

My head cleared in dramatic ways. I stopped having anxiety attacks. I dropped 65 pounds on the spot and have kept it off for more than two years. It made my OCD much easier to manage.

6. When you’re not binge eating, do you find yourself obsession transfers to other things? If so, how do you cope?

Sure. As addicts, we never stop engaging in that behavior. But these days, my obsessions focus more on the creative stuff—writing especially.

7. Why did you start to blog? Has blogging helped you? If so, how?

I started the blog because I wanted to do what I could to smash the stigmas around mental illness and addictive behavior. The bonus is that it gives me an outlet to process my thoughts and indulge in the writing in a healthy way.

8. How do people reacted when they find out that you cope with OCD and food issues?

Because of the blog, people are more understanding, which I suppose means the idea of doing the blog was a good one and that people are learning. If someone is weirded out, I simply try to educate them. If they don’t get it, they don’t get it.

9. What’s the biggest misconception about OCD and/or food addictions?

With OCD, the misconception is that we’re crazy people who repeat words and actions over and over again. Those things happen, but people lose sight of the core problem in the brain that causes the other behaviors. Food addictions are even less understood. A lot of people refuse to accept compulsive overeating as an addictive behavior. It just doesn’t fit what they’ve seen of addiction on TV. Plus, we all have to eat, right?

10. What advice do you have for anyone struggling with OCD and/or food addiction?

First, realize that you are not a freak and you are not alone. Even if people don’t fully buy your explanation, most still want to help you be happy. Don’t be afraid of professional help. The resources to find sanity and control binge eating are everywhere and easy to tap into. Don’t let fear of the unknown hold you back.

As for the flour and sugar, cutting it out worked for me, but that may not be the answer for everyone. Before you do anything, get guidance from a doctor.

Bill Brenner is author of THE OCD DIARIES, a blog about his struggles with OCD and addiction and how he has largely learned to manage it. It’s also a blog about life in general, and how someone with demons can make it through the tough stuff. In his day job, Brenner is senior editor of CSOonline.com, an information security site. His Twitter handle is BillBrenner70 and he invites people to his OCD Diaries Facebook page.

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