Moody

October 18, 2005

Oooh, very moody today. Things easily make me angry. Leave me alone.

Since being back on the sugar my sleep schedule is whack. I work well into the night and wake early (because my schedule demands) and then am tired all day.

A lady prepared her breakfast at the bus stop this morning. She poured some orange juice/drink from a plastic container into a half empty bottle of Sprite soda. Then she broke open a package of Pop Tarts and ate them. She was overweight and out of shape. How long has she been eating breakfast in that way? But then look at me.

Walked into the Safeway supermarket and couldn’t fathom the idea of eating another chocolate chip cookie. That’s good. Instead I purchased another trigger food—Ben and Jerry’s Half Baked ice cream. After that there is only one remaining sweet to eat before I quit on November 3rd!

I’m grossed out by my sweet self, my body is crying, and I want to avoid seeing people because of my sugar consumption. However, I’m upbeat, productive, and feeling exceptionally arousable.

Addendum: It’s about 5:15 PM and I am ready to collapse. My energy dropped simply from walking several blocks in my neighborhood. This sugar binge experiment is quite foolish. Walking made me tired, sweaty, and uncomfortable.

If it were possible, I’d go to bed now and sleep several hours but if so, I’d be awake all night and the cycle would get worse. Tomorrow my plan is to get the last trigger food—a loaf of chocolate chip banana bread—and begin sugar abstinence as soon as it’s devoured.