Vanadia

Stop Being Sweet

How to Say No to Dessert at Someone’s House

8

I’m back from a friend’s birthday party. Of course there was cake for dessert. The cake was huge and it was chocolate. And there was ice cream. I didn’t eat any of it. I’ve eaten enough chocolate cake in my time to know what I’m missing.

The thing that fascinates me is that they asked me if I’m still not eating sugar. They can’t believe it. One of them asked why I’m not eating sugar. I’ve told them before. I’m not annoyed; I’m fascinated. Why don’t people believe me?

It’s interesting that they think I must have eaten sweets since the last time I declared, “No more sweets.” That was in November during my birthday dinner. They were there when I said it. People won’t believe you if you stop being sweet. They won’t know what to do with you. And I don’t know what to do with them. Normally I’ll eat some fruit after dinner. Is it okay to bring fruit to someone’s house for my own dessert? Bringing a sugar-free dessert just seems tacky. So what’s an unsweet person to do? Bring enough for everyone!

Perhaps make some fruit salad. Maybe bring some sugar-free date fudge. Then people could sample something healthy and delicious and decide for themselves. When I first tasted a sugar-free chocolate chip cookie from that vegan bakery on St. Marks St. in New York City I thought it was like eating cardboard. Your dinner friends will probably think the same but don’t worry. After quitting sugar, healthy desserts taste like heaven. And the best part is most people at the table will opt for the sugary junk and leave more of the good stuff for you!

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Comments 8

Catherine

1

Although I don’t eat very much sugar, I do feel fairly unhealthy—and crash—whenever I do.  So this bit about bringing along my own fruit salad so I won’t have anything else is helpful.  Cool!

Traci

2

So hard to say no to the food pushers!  The other day my friend literally pushed some food in my mouth after I refused several times.  Seems some of my relationships are based on eating junk.

Oh Yeah

3

Fruit has sugar. Fructose which your body breaks down into glucose. Carbs are carbs- complex or simple. In the end, it going to end up as sugar in your body.

Vanadia

4

Oh Yeah, this blog isn’t about avoiding every conceivable form of sugar.

Susie

5

I just found your site! My friends have a huge issue with me not eating sugar & I don’t really understand why. It will be 60 days for me not having any refined sugar or artificial sweeteners. I’m very proud of myself and there are actually people in my life that are telling me how hard it is for them to deal with my “diet”.  I guess I can’t blame them… they’re addicts & don’t even realize it.

Vanadia

6

Congrats, Susie! You’re becoming an influence on those people. If you can abstain from sweets then there’s no reason they shouldn’t/couldn’t and they have to face that fact.

Maggie

7

Hi David

Just wanted to let you know it’s been 4 months and still no sugar for Margaret. Not anything refined. My friends are now all being really supportive. I was out with the girls last night who shared a rather pretty looking French dessert and my friend Emily just said ‘yes or no?’ to me and on me saying no took my fork away and smiled at me.

The guy I share an office with however tries to get me to have sugar every work day. I now just reply ‘nope’. And if he says anything again, I shake my head. The third time I don’t even look up any more and just carry on typing. Ignoring him feels rude but it works! Funnily enough he hasn’t offered me anything this week. Taken 4 months but he seems to be getting bored. He eats a scary amount of sugar. Sweetened potato chips, Gatorade, jelly sweets, mints, cheap chocolate. Made my skull ache looking at it.

Really not missing sugar. At all. I have berries which taste amazing after being sugar free. Weigh loss is now at 2 stone which is an added bonus. But more than that general health, physical and mental has really improved. Generally a much happier and more active person.

I’d allowed myself sugar four times a year but so far I just haven’t missed it at all. I now even have a few sweet things in for guests and haven’t once been tempted to raid the cupboard.

I do however have the occasional alcoholic drink socially. I know that is refined and I know the issues about sugars and how alcohol is broken down. There is no temptation however to binge. I can happily have a wine with a meal then not touch the stuff for months afterwards.

It’s just been different for me this time (my second sugar free stint). Easier. At friends I just refuse the desert with no substitute. I buy ready made deserts when entertaining. I send guests away with any left overs. I’ve just been quite firm with people on this. I realised stopping being sweet requires me to stop being worried about offending people. How is it offensive to say no thank you? I haven’t done this for weight loss, but just saying I’m 28 pounds lighter so no thank you (what i’m doing works) tends to be a blunt reply. If people persist shorten your reply to a no, then if they persist just a shake of the head. It’s what I do with my 5 year old when she won’t go to bed. Don’t engage in the conversation they soon gets bored. I just realised I don’t have to explain myself. I feel good and it hasn’t damaged any friendships or relationships.

Vanadia

8

I love stories like this! Funny how your coworker tries to get you to eat sweets. Go another four months and he’ll have no choice but to reevaluate his sugar consumption. smile

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