Viewing: My Personal Journal

What If You Ate Sugar By Accident?

So, the other night, Gwenn and I made cookies. I usually make the dough (sugar-free) and then she takes her portion and adds chocolate chips. I add unsweetened carob chips to mine. That’s how we do. That’s what we did. All was well.

The cookies had been baked, removed from the oven, and cooled. In fact, we’d eaten some of them by the time I walked into the dark kitchen and reached for my last cookie of the evening. I picked up one of mine and took a bite only to find it was one of hers. Whoops! They look the same in the dark. It tasted like chocolate. It was sweet. I ate a bite of cookie with chocolate chips that were sweetened with sugar. But life goes on.

For anyone who isn’t a “sugar addict” you’ll think this is a silly post. Who the heck cares if I eat sugar? I agree.

For anyone who is a sugar addict you’ll understand that this kind of mishap is a dangerous spot where someone’s monkey mind might convince them that it was fate. The devil on your shoulder might tell you that you should roll with it. Perhaps go on a week-long sugar binge since you tainted your sugar-free stretch. Had I been two weeks into my sugar abstinence, I might have cracked.

My Point

The only way to stay off sweets is to stay off sweets. You have to stick it out. It’s all about choice — YOUR choice. The world works in mysterious ways and, given the fact that many major corporation in the food industry work 24/7 to put them there, sugary foods will somehow make it to your lips from time to time. Sometimes it’s by choice. Sometimes it’s by accident. Either way you have to roll with it. It doesn’t mean you messed up and have to “start over.” You already started. You’re on and you stay on. Just keep going and live in the now.

Posted on Feb 24, 2010 : Comments: (2)

Should I Quit Bread?

Having been sweet-free for a long time now, I have found that my relationship with food is different. I’ve never been a variety eater. Instead, I tend to eat the same things over and over. Confronted with the overwhelming attention assault that is the supermarket, there are a few things that always end up in my cart while the rest of the groceries remain uncharted territory.

Over the past year or year in a half, I have gained weight. I’m not obese by any means, but I am the heaviest I’ve ever been. There’s definitely a trend happening. Many people have asked me or told me about the worry of gaining weight if they quit sugar because they feel they’ll eat more to over compensate. It has become obvious to me lately is that I still eat habitually rather than when I’m hungry. Since I do a lot of work from home, the kitchen is literally a few steps away. Once again, I need to change my eating habits.

With 2010 rapidly approaching I have been considering doing something more challenging—something drastic. I think (notice my hesitation) that I’m going to stop eating any bread and flour products. I’m not sure I want to do it though. It sounds like the right thing to do but the reality is that I still love unsweetened peanut butter and pure fruit jelly sandwiches, on wheat bread of course. I still love a good sandwich. Perhaps I will limit the amount of food I eat in general. Hmmm… New Year’s Eve is fast approaching. Something’s gotta give. Any suggestions?

Posted on Dec 18, 2009 : Comments: (3)

On Demonizing Sugar

Candy Cigarettes Not too long ago, during a conversation with my friend,  the subject of sugar came up. I mentioned something about how I find it hard to moderate eating sweets. My friend made a face and said, “...and so you demonize sugar.”

It wasn’t a question. It was a statement, possibly even an accusation. It made me think of many endless debates between blaming the object or the people who use/wield/consume that object. For example, “Guns, don’t kill people. People kill people.”

The problem is that sugar doesn’t kill people —at least not in the press-a-button end-a-life kind of way. It is common place for people to eat sugar. People often eat sweets their entire lives and never know what it feels like to be sugar-free. (Feels like are the key words in that sentence.)  Even people who don’t think of themselves as having a sweet-tooth are often addicted to carbs and many people who think they are sugar-free are indeed ingesting a huge amount of added sugars without even knowing it.

My friend and I talked about how it became common place for people to take a smoking break at work. In fact, if you want to be able to take regular breaks at certain jobs, it would behoove you to take up smoking! How many people do you know who are allowed (meaning it’s socially acceptable) to take a phone break at work? Ten minutes standing out front of the building to make a call several times a day might get you fired. But in many places there is a designated smoking area for the smoking team. (Imagine a harmonica break!)

armtray There used to be ashtrays on the seat arms in airplanes. People used to smoke inside hospitals. They smoked in movies, on television, and at the table next to you at a restaurant. When I was in high school there was an outdoor smoking lounge for students. The idea seems insane by today’s paradigm. In fact it’s illegal. Why? You know why.

“But sugar is different,” my friend argued, “Sugar is in everything. We need sugar to live.”

I agree that sugar is in everything and we need natural sugars to live. However, we don’t need large quantities of added sugars in everything we consume. Sugar has been pushed on us since we were children. We have been programmed to believe that sugar is fun and gives us energy. Large corporations sell sugar to kids on television (cereal ads), in playgrounds (think fast food playground sponsorships) and in cafeterias at school. Food products that are labeled organic and healthy can still contain large doses of sugar. At the end of the day we’ve eaten a whole lot of sugar if we weren’t paying attention, and that’s often the case even if we didn’t eat candy-ish sweets.

smoke filled plane How much is too much? For certain addictive types, research pointing to fatty and sugary foods as being addictive might mean just a little is too much. Otherwise let Coke teach you and your family about nutrition.

So, to my friend and everyone who might have had the same thought as he, I don’t demonize sugar because we all know it’s bad for us. After all, sugar doesn’t ruin your health. You ruin your health.

Posted on Nov 23, 2009 : Comments: (1)

All I Wanted Was Sweets

This weekend all I wanted was some sugar. Actually, not true. I wanted something sweet but I didn’t want sugar. Gwenn whipped up some chocolate mousse for me. It was cream and agave syrup with some cocoa. It did the trick for about five minutes.

I made cookies on Friday night. Ate ‘em all. There’s a lot on my plate (things to do, not food) and so my natural tendency is to want to eat lots of sugar. This is how my mind operates. Do you do that?

Do you eat, or want to eat, sweets when you’re stressed or under pressure?

PS - If you’re part of the November Sugar Challenge, let us know how you’re doing.

Posted on Nov 16, 2009 : Comments: (1)

Back Off The Sugar

My parents are visiting. The other day we had lunch at a deli and I got a chocolate chip cookie. I felt like a kid again.

Yesterday morning was the end of my “annual sugar binge” and we stopped in a place to get breakfast. Fresh baked chocolate chip cookies stared me in the stomach. I wanted one, but not because I craved it. I wanted one just because they were there.

A little voice in my head said, “You can extend your sugar time for one day. Nobody will know and they won’t care. You make up the rules around here.”

I ignored the voice and left without a cookie. Last night I over-ate at dinner but it’s not worrying me. It will pass.

Today will be even easier—for me. My parents are probably annoyed as I’ve pointed out that they’re still drinking diet soda (although they said they had stopped) and they’re still eating the same sugary foods they always have. But hey, you can’t control others. You can’t even influence them. All you can do is what is right for you.

If and when you want to stop being sweet, you will find a way.

Posted on Nov 05, 2009 : Comments: (2)

Almost Done With Sugar Again

I feel terrible today. Last night I was tired early (unusual) after two days of hyperactivity. I felt as if I’d drank lots of coffee. I felt bold and willing to take risks. I took some risks.

Today I am bloated, gassy and tired. My energy is sapped. I feel easily depressed and sensitive. It can’t be that I’m eating lots of sugar. That can’t have anything to do with it. No, not that.

Even though it’s making me feel terrible, I still walk to the fridge and take out the chocolate. Why? Because in a day it’ll be off limits again. That doesn’t make much sense. I told myself today that I’m already done and tomorrow I won’t eat any sweets. Then I ate some peanut clusters tonight. Tomorrow night it’s all over. After that, I’ll announce some new stuff.

Posted on Nov 03, 2009 : Comments: (6)

November 1, 2009: Day 2

Day 2 of my “annual sugar bindge” (I am going to stop calling it that) has begun. I don’t want to eat all of the junk food I got. Still, I’ve eaten Fruit Loops, Pop-tarts, and chocolate. I’m not even enjoying it. It’s too sweet, too acidic, and it makes me feel awful. This is precisely why I do this every year.

Sugar is like a charismatic but abusive partner from the past. Sugar never made me feel good, sapped all of my resources, always got me into trouble, abused my health and my emotions, took my money, and wasn’t even good looking! But for some reason when I am away from sugar for a long time and see so many people having fun with the same sugar I used to love, I begin to feel nostalgic. Sugar starts to look good again. I long to spend time with my sugar. Sugar is always there waiting for me because it is I who left sugar. Sugar didn’t leave me. How could so many people be wrong?

Then I get excited. Sugar, I’m coming back to you! And sugar opens it’s arms. I run right back to that place only to find it colder and smaller than I remember. Less colorful. Desolate. Sad. Pale. Dry. Grainy. Sticky. Childish. Foolish.

Each year when I do this, it is clearer that sugar is a symbol of who I used to be. As I enter into the second half of my life I want to declare sugar gone. Something from way back. Something that makes each day without sweets a good day.

4:30 pm It’s strange. I ate all of the packaged candy and a bunch of chocolate covered pretzels. I feel awful. Bloated. Heavy. Tired. Gross. I look forward to Tuesday so that I will stop eating this stuff. It’s my own self-imposed parameters that “give me the window” to desecrate my body with junk food. Why? It makes me feel terrible. And yet I’ll eat this stuff until Tuesday. It’s like I’m worried I’ll miss something if I don’t eat it.

Why do you eat sweets? What are you getting out of it? It’s a complete waste of your time, money and energy. I bet, if you really look at it, there’s some kind of child-like motivation behind your desire to eat yourself into oblivion. Can you locate that motivation? Can you change your paradigm? It’s easily said and not so easily done. Or is it?

My brother says it’s easy..

Posted on Nov 01, 2009 : Comments: (10)

October 31, 2009 - Halloween

I ate sugar last night—a whole pint of Ben & Jerry's Half Baked ice cream. I also had some cookies. Today I will eat more.

When I woke up this morning my eye had a big crusty in it. That's a sugar thing. It's rare that I wake up with crust in my eyes (de-lic-ious!) when I am not eating sugar.

So far this morning I just feel hungry. More to come, I will keep updating.

1:00 pm Amazing. I have a bunch of chocolate sitting there waiting for me but I am not craving it. I feel kinda gross having just eaten a few bites of a Nutella Crepe. Last night, after I ate the ice cream, my teeth were coated with sugar. It was way nasty.

5:00 pm I have a bunch of chocolate in the house but don’t want it. I am not craving it at all. I have eaten some chocolate covered pretzels and, although they were not very good, kept eating them. I am going to skip dinner and will probably have some more junk before the day is done...

Posted on Oct 31, 2009 : Comments: (0)

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