Sugar-Free Oreos

It’s been nearly a year since I’ve eaten anything chocolaty so, when I heard an advertisement for Sugar Free Oreo cookies playing over the loudspeaker at the supermarket, I decided to test them ONLY AS AN EXPERIMENT FOR THIS SITE. Rest assured knowing that I took no pleasure in eating those cookies and I did it just for you.
Sad thing is, it’s true. I didn’t enjoy them.

I ate one and it tasted just like I remember an Oreo to taste—as if I’d eaten them yesterday. I had another and it was noticeably not as good as the first. Then a I had third and it tasted like nothing. Eventually I finished the sleeve and began to feel sick! In fact I put the box down and went and got an apple because my body craved something natural.

The following day I finished the remaining cookies and was left with a weird chemical feeling. It was like impostor Oreo residue was pulsing through my veins. Gross. Still, three days later I somehow figured my research couldn’t be complete after only one box. So I got another.

That time, with the aid of my girlfriend Gwenn, we tested my experience to see if it was consistent. Gwenn ate one cookie and said it tasted just like a regular sugar-sweetened Oreo. I gave her another, which she didn’t want, and she said it, “tasted like nothing.” I forced a third on her and she said she was starting to feel sick!

And just to be sure, I secretly caved and got a third box about a week ago and ate them…all of them…pretty quickly. That’s an experience I’ll never repeat again. It’s sweetened with Maltitol.

Read the fine print: (“Excess consumption may have a laxative effect”).

Final opinion: Natural foods for me please.